Liberal Arts Degrees That Can’t Save You Now
by Stav
Have bills to pay? Crush doesn’t like you back? Not really sure whether you’re living life to the fullest, or even at all? Fire-breathing dragon chasing you around in its gold-coin-filled chamber? Wanted for murder?
Sorry, but regardless of your poor life situation, your liberal arts degree does not care. In fact, there’s a variety of ways it could fuck you over, depending on the major you chose. But most importantly, it won’t help you pay your rent. Here is a list of some of the most popular liberal arts degrees that your landlord will not care about when the first of the month comes around:
Sociology: Very cute, but knowing who Noam Chomsky is and what the five filters of the mass media are will not get you out of paying rent next week :)
Psychology: No matter how much you encourage me to reframe my mindset, it will not get you out of paying rent next week :)
Political science: Wait, this is a liberal arts degree? As a conservative, your landlord won’t tolerate that. Anyways, very cute, but will not get you out of paying rent next week :)
English: Why did you learn this? We have autocorrect now, remember? Anyways, as your landlord texted you yesterday, “ ren t due. next week . Jeff.”
History: A pirate is holding a gun to your head, and he’s like, “Tell me about three major battles that took place during the War of 1812, or walk the plank.” Haha, just kidding, this is an imaginary situation that will never happen in real life. You know what’s real, though? Your rent, due next week!
Math: Helpful if a high school kid asks you to spell out “BOOBS” on their calculator, but unhelpful when rent is due (next week!!!).
Philosophy: No, Slavoj Zizek is not going to pay your rent for you.
Master’s degree: Whoa not funny anymore. Go have sex or something, literally do anything except this.
Btw your next student loan payment is also due next week, but not to fear: Your liberal arts degree doesn’t have your back!
